My year in summary

At the end of every year, I look back and think, "Wow, I really matured this year." I don't know if this is because I was just so immature the year before or that I learned some good lessons through the year. Well, both were true this year. I was incredibly immature in 2009, dealing with the death of a loved one and some drastic events in my family life that led me to cope by making some wrong decisions in attempts to muster any bit of happiness--even if it led to more sadness. So, I began 2010 emotionally exhausted, hoping for drastic change to shake off the events of the prior year. And with that hope, I really could not have asked for a better year of change.

This year, I touched snow for the first time. I  got to travel with my best friend to her childhood dream city of New York City, having a wonderfully whirlwind experience that confirmed my long-ago dreams--New York is my city. I may never end up there, but the energy is definitely right for me. No other city I have visited left that impression on me the way New York City did, and I got to experience all of this with my best friend. I ended my college career by going through a special kind of hell to finish my honors thesis, an accomplishment that is incomparable to any other in my academic career so far and one that I look back with a new respect for myself for enduring all those moments of anguish to research an issue that I deeply care about. I graduated from college, moved out of my beloved apartment where I shared so many fond memories with the greatest of friends a girl could ever, ever ask for.

I jetted off to Vietnam, where I spent three months traveling the country from North to South with my little sister and mom. I got to retrace my family's history, learn in-depth about my parent's struggles, and gained a greater appreciation for all their sacrifices to relocate themselves in America. Awestruck, I got to walk through Angkor Wat, receive a fish foot massage in Siem Reap with new friends, ride the super clean subways of Singapore, and visit a monkey temple in Malaysia. I contracted tape worm while eating some of the most delicious Vietnamese food in the dirtiest of Saigon streets. I reunited with my relatives, only to feel a greater chasm of distance from them than I did 11 years before when I met them for the first time.

I returned to the US, sunburnt and mosquito-bitten to fly across the country to shed tears of pride at my brother Terry's white coat ceremony in West Virginia. In the last few months, I got a first taste of the disappointments of adulthood in a stagnant job market while holding steadfastly onto my dreams. The greater the disappointment, the closer I clutch to those dreams. I end the year jobless, financially anxious, but in all, reveling in all of the changes throughout the year that led me to this point.

In 2010, change was all I needed to regain my footing. Change in life plans, in scenery, in long-held beliefs--I come out so much more secure with myself, motivated, and more certain of my plans.The emotional immaturity I began the year with has grown into something else. I can't say what it is yet, but it feels so much better. And with this declaration, I hope 2011 is another year of exploration. More travel adventures are to come; I know it. 2011 feels pretty good already.