Travel conversations with my mom

Traveling with my mom is a learning experience...in patience. Here are just some of the typical conversations we usually have while traveling together:

Sightseeing on the bus:

Mom: Look, mountains.
Me: Yeah, I see them.
(a few moments later)
Mom: A river.
Me: uh huh.
Mom: fields.
Me: Got it.
Mom: Water buffaloes.
Me: Okay, I got it.
Mom: Houses...you see them?
Me: Yes, Mom, I see them! Geez...

Taking a picture:

Mom: You see that statue??! Take a picture of it.
Me: (looks at an ugly bronze statue)...I don't want to take a picture of it.
Mom: Take a picture!!
Me: I don't want to! It's ugly!
Mom: What's wrong with you?! Take a picture of it! If not, then take a picture of me with it.
Me: It's way to dark anyways. The sun is in the other direction.
Mom: Just take it!
(Mom stands next to the ugly statue)
Me: Well, at least smile. (takes picture)
Mom: Let me see it...(show her the picture)...That picture is ugly! Why is it so dark?
Me:......

Waiting:

Mom: It's almost time. Let's go down to the lobby and wait.
Me: We have like 20 minutes. Let's just sit here.
Mom: No! We're going to be late! You hear all the noise outside? It's everyone going down.
Me: I don't hear anything!
Mom: Let's go down!
Me: Okay!! Geez...
(go down to lobby and not a single soul is down there)
Me: I told you! We're way too early.
Mom: (shakes her head as if to disregard my remark)
Me: (frustratingly look at my hands for 10 minutes to pass the time)
Fellow tour traveler: (to my mom) Wow, you are always early!
Mom: (smiles in pride)
Me: (sigh to myself and go back to looking at my hands for another 10 minutes)

Nagging:

Mom: Wear your hat.
Me: I don't want to (because it'll mess up my hair)
Mom: Wear it! It's really sunny!
Me: I don't need it!
Mom: Yes, you do! You don't want to get burned!
Me: I'm not going to get burned.
Mom: You know, if your face gets burned it's going to become dark and your whole life will be ruined.
Me:.......

Mom: (on bus for a 3 hour ride) I need to go to the bathroom.
Me: You just went 10 minutes ago.

Mom: (in the hotel, snacking on fruits) My stomach hurts.
Me: Well, stop eating. It'll make it worse.
Mom: (continues eating)
Me: Stop eating!
(about 20 minutes later)
Mom: My stomach really hurts.
Me: Well, yeah. You finished that whole bag of fruits yourself.

Typical banter. But in all honestly, I really wouldn't appreciate traveling around Vietnam if I went with anyone else other than my mom. She's always surprising me with stories of certain places she's been to, filling in details of my family history, and looking after me to make sure I don't get my stuff stolen. Even though she irks me a lot with her nagging, her need to be 20 minutes early for everything, she's actually good company to have on this trip. Also, Tammy's gone and she's all I have here now. So yeah...I'll admit it if you're reading this...but miss you Tammy (You're still a loser, though).

(Mom, melting in the Vietnamese heat)