Some things never change

I went to visit my Dad's family in Tay Ninh, which sits close to the border of Vietnam and Cambodia. I had heard that Tay Ninh changed a lot from the countryside it once was to a more developed city with lots of foreign money flowing in. When I visited 11 years ago, Tay Ninh was straight up country. For example, my Dad's village shared one telephone and toilet. Yeah, it was that type of country.

The Tay Ninh that I came back to today was no longer a place with open fields and undisturbed jungle, but a clean and developed city (the cleanest I've seen in Vietnam). Now everyone has their own cell phone, even my rice farming uncles. My Dad's village is no longer isolated in the country jungle as it once was, but surrounding it are new homes blasting karaoke music. Despite the fact that Tay Ninh, the city, was unrecognizable from my childhood memories, there were some essential elements that remain unchanged.

For one, there's the country toilet. Still in use after all these years. This is a true country toilet, made out of scrap wood and metal over a pond. I remember using this when I was little, nervously walking over the wood plank to climb inside, in fear that I would fall into a pond of feces. Back then, the pond was much bigger and there were actually fish living in it that would jump up to eat your poo..while you were pooping. I remember one time, my uncles actually caught one of the fishes from this pond and ATE IT. So disgusting. It was all a fun novelty then. Now, you couldn't even pay me to sit inside one of these.



Country toilet paper--old newspapers and scraps of paper.
These freaking huge fire ants. I remember one time, I stepped into a hill of fire ants and they all swarmed my feet and bit me. This time, I made sure to watch my step.
The home where my Dad grew up in. The right portion is exactly as it was when my Dad lived there.
My Grandma. 80 years old and as strong as ever. I'm told I look exactly like her, especially when my Mom is pissed off at me.
You know how every family has a drunk uncle? Well, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my blood uncles are drunks. I say that fondly because they are all very kind and good to me, especially the last one on the left, who is my uncle from my Mom's side. He is an interesting character, worthy of a blog post of his own.
My Dad comes from quiet folk. I tried asking my uncles about my Dad--what they remembered about him, how he was as a kid, if they had any good memories of him-- but all I got was "He was our oldest brother...He was nice." That's it. Uhh...okay. It was understandable that they didn't know anything about my Dad because my Dad is much older than his siblings and he left home when he was 18 to join the war. He hasn't seen his family since 1975 (a very, very important year in this country and also within my family). He doesn't even recognize which brothers are which anymore. Fortunately, they all look SO MUCH ALIKE that it wouldn't be difficult for him at pick out his family members. Walking around my Dad's village, I felt like I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Everyone in the village had features resembling my Dad. So freaky.

Uncle, Chu 7. He used to bring us to the rice fields to play.
Tammy says he looks exactly like our Dad, especially when he walks.
My super short uncle, who is only a little taller than me. He also has a high pitched voice, which made it difficult for me to listen to him with a straight face.
My smiling Uncle. I call him that because he's always smiling. Always. He actually has a sad back story. After I heard about it, it made look at the constant smile on his face a little differently. It's pretty depressing and I hope he can finally move on and get his life together, but I know that that's wishful thinking.

My Dad around 18 0r 19 years old.
My Dad's high school, still in use for over 100 years. When my Dad attended, it was a boys only school and very difficult to get into. My Dad is the only one in his family to have ever finished school. He is well known and respected for his intelligence, despite growing up with literally nothing. It is one of the many qualities I admire most about him.


Even though Tay Ninh is more developed, it still is very country (much more than My Tho, where my Mom's family lives). These are some of the country scenes I loved then and even more now.


Unfortunately, everything can't stay the same.

This is my Grandpa. He has been bedridden for three years. A few days before our visit, he had to have a catheter put inside him because he can no longer go to the bathroom on his own. It is understood by all that he has a very short time to live. I knew of his condition, but I wasn't prepared to actually see him. I have always been uncomfortable around the issue of death, so I knew that seeing him would be difficult but I didn't realize that I would react the way I did. Because when I saw him, I saw my Dad and seeing this man that looks so much like my Dad in such a vulnerable state, a frail body of skin and bones and so close to death--it killed me. I was only able to come close to him two times an each time I ran away to hide and cry. It was an emotional reunion and one that I will always, always remember.